Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Even my vagina gasped.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
