Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
