so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
