Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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