Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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