I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize