Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
