I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
