Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Don't EVER smell your tampon
she peed on how many people?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
