yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
