it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
im holly from the hills drunk
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize