the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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