I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
