I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Randomize
