I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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