Are we in a gay sports bar?
i already hear my dad disowning me
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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