idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
