PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
