Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Randomize
