lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize
