i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Damn victory sex feels great
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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