a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Terrible idea I love it
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
