omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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