He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
