Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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