First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
