just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Randomize
