ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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