I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
