I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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