Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
