You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
