Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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