like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
