i just wanna soil my oats bro
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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