I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
