dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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