dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
We don't watch enough power rangers
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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