lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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