walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize