Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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