Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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