his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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