Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
