I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
