I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Randomize
