Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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