her vagine was all disorganized.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
