The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
