Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
