I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
How does one acquire holy water?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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