i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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