i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
