the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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