It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
